I was remembering this show on The WB called "Maybe It's Me." Its a comedy show about a young girl who thinks her family is dysfunctional but in every episode she realized that compared to other families or other people they are actually quite normal, so she is left wondering if maybe she is the dysfunctional one.
Remembering that show, a favorite of mine, made me start to think about my self and it made me ask myself the same question may be it's me?
I have had several relationships in the past all of which have failed for one reason or another. One of these relationships started many years ago about 8 years to be exact and it was on and off, nothing ever really became of it she chose to move on with some one else and when that did not work for her we tried to start something again but failed. I tried everything to make that relationship work, everything including a proposal not a very good one I will admit but one that came from the heart, I really should have put more thought into it but I did not have much time she was slipping from my hands and I felt I had to do something, I know she deserved better but again I did not have much time she was all ready to leave.
Later on I had another serious relationship with a great girl! The relationship was a great ride until the very end. We dated for 3 years straight I meet all her family she meet mine, we traveled together, we purchased things together, we were inseparable. I learned from my mistakes so when it came time to propose to her I did it right but as the month leading on passed I realized I was making a mistake, or at least I though I was, for many many many reason I deiced to break off the engagement. That one decision had become the biggest hugest colossal biggest regret of my life, they say that you don't know what you have until you lose it! I know that from first had experience, I would try everything to make that mistake right but she just would not hear me out and I did not blame her in her shoes I would have treated me like crap, she never did though.
Other than those 2 I have had 3 other relationship that also failed for many different reasons I ended one because we were not on the same page, she ended another because I was not really over some one else I still regretted my decision I made in a past relationship, and the last was just lust and when that was gone so were the 2 of us. I had my very first girlfriend when I was 11 years old and recently I have gone through a break up.
Over all the years I have never had a good relationship! Ever! Looking back all my past relationships have failed for one reason or another I have had many relationship and none of them have worked! I don't get it? What is it about me that attracts these women that just are not right for me, all the women that have come in my door have left going out my door the same way they came in. Some have left me heart broken, some have left me on good term, some have gone out like thunder.
All this leads me back to the beginning. Maybe it's me? May be I have not been up to par, may be I have not done what I could have. All I know is that here I am, apparently I have all the qualities that make up a great man! I am funny, charming, romantic, sweet, I have a great sense of fashion, and I am fit and healthy. But here I am alone, single, and with no real prospects I mean am I destined to live a life of sin and never attain a stable relationship?
Maybe It's Me? May be it's them? Who knows.
